My Olympic Dream's Over...

Who hasn’t had an Olympic dream dashed?

Mine’s been the US Women’s Gymnastics team. I know I can’t compete in all the disciplines, but felt pretty confident I could run around twirling that ribbon-on-a-stick.

I’ve been working out again, so my cardio’s pretty good. I’m 5’9”, 185. Oh, and I’m a guy.

So I thought all the bench pressing would give me an edge lifting the ribbon-stick up and down repeatedly.

Then I saw China’s Women’s team. Their premier athlete is 4’6” and 70 lbs. Wedding cake ornaments think she’s petite.

And yes, even though the Chinese Federation claims she’s 16 years old, she probably finished her floor routine, then cuddled up with her blankie and bottle and took a nap ‘cuz she’s 12 yrs old, tops.

Put it this way--she’s like a foot taller than my daughter, who’s 4.

The rest of the Chinese team isn’t much bigger—4’ 8”, 90 lbs, 4’ 10”, 115 lbs. The entire group looks like they could finish practice than sit down and share a Cheerio.

I watched them twirling around on the bars like weightless pixies. One armed spins, somersaulting dismounts, laser-accurate landings….carrying their teddy bears the whole time.

And I realized damn, it’s a young persons sport now. Not like when I tried out for the East German Women’s swim team in the 80’s. And made first alternate.

I’m 40. Yeah, maybe I’m ten pounds overweight but can you put your heart on a scale? Wait, actually you can. I mean, can you measure Patriotism? Can you bottle courage?

I see the Olympic torch held high and man I feel that fire in my gut. And I know somewhere there’s a team for me.

Maybe Lithuania. I hear they need bobsledders.