So this is supposed to be a real note someone found (click on it to enlarge), and posted on a site where people can post lost notes. And if you don't think too closely about it, its funny. But I do think about it--the content that is. And in a post modern world where nothing is what it seems, and every facet of so called reality is massaged and scripted until it actually doesn't echo reality, I have to wonder.
Is there really a site for lost notes?
Did Scott (socks or not) truly write this?
Because I've been duped too many times. Life has been over-edited and in the process, upstaged by facsimile.
Maybe I'm jaded. But I just can't extend the innocence of wonder to any suggestion of 'original material' any more. Personally, I don't think there ever was a Maria.
And Scott's either a seventh grader with a scanner, or a disgruntled copywriter whose launched a new web site that offers 'humorous, honest glimpses in to the intimacy of people's lives' via the found notes he 'posts'.
Which, btw looks Photoshopped. There's no bleed to the ink, and the wrinkles don't distort the letters at all. And the tear isn't a tear. Just an area where the pixels were erased.
So when I read it, I don't empathize I criticize. The syntax feels glaringly awkward in an obvious, forced manner. Even people who speak poorly, speak consistently poorly. Repeating the imperfect tense 'was' isn't a clever way to mock language, its just lazy. Not to mention, the emotional tone feels uneven. Endearments (dear, sincerely) are poorly constructed devices to imitate the closeness of their bond, but stand in glaring opposition to the condemnation supposedly motivating the writer. I mean, Scott.
Finally, tube socks? Just a cheap short cut--using a word that you thinks funny to try and illicit a laugh. Like after five beers when you crack up everytime you shout 'spider monkey!'. Until the manager tells you Happy Hour is over and Spider Monkey wasn't funny after the third episode of Friends.
In the old days, I would've laughed. But then in the old days the note would've been real. And it would've resonated with humanity in all its fractured, tender, dysfunction. But since Survivor, Big Brother, Ace Of Cakes, The People's Court and The Bachelor I just can't take the chance. So I choose to not believe reality. I'm taking a break for awhile. At least until they come up with a show where I really can't tell what's real, or not.
But I figure by the time that level of writing / programming makes it on TV, it'll also be available in Hi Def Hologram. In which case, I'm gonna grab my handheld and just film me showing up at Dunkin Donuts every morning pretending I may choose the blueberry muffin, when the whole time everyone knows I only eat chocolate chip muffins.
Hey, it's not that funny--but at least it really happens. At least, I think that's me...
