Housepets: The New Celebrities

Okay, so Barbaro finally died. Yeah, that race horse. Exactly. I have no idea why this horse and his story so fascinated the media. Last I checked, he was a racehorse, right? That won? Isn’t that what racehorses are supposed to do?

I mean, its not like this horse turned his back on racing to pursue a career in medicine and find a cure to childhood diabetes or something. Yet for what seems like years, every time I turn on the television like, every station was talking about this horse.

Barbaro hurt his leg again!. Now he has an infection, he’s better! Oh no, he’s sick again! He’s recovering! No, Barbaro succumbed to his injuries!.

Seriously, Darfour hasn’t received this much coverage since it even barely became a topic in our country. So what’s up with this horse? It’s not like he was Mr. Ed. Now there’s a horse. You show me a talking horse, hey~you can have all the coverage you want. I’ll write the press release myself.

I mean, for weeks you couldn’t even get a good heated conversation going. You mention Iraq, someone's like "Oh, did you hear Barbaro's up and walking". Or try and stir the pot about the whole Gonzoles DA mess and people brush you off with “Hey, Barbaro’s injuries healed. They’re saying he’ll have a light work out next week and he munched a handful of oats! WILD CHEERS FROM OFFICE STAFF.

I mean, you mention Barbaro in a sentence and you get employees dry humping each other at the fax machine in pure, unadulterated joy. Again, what did Barbaro do? Oh right, he was a horse.

Are we so starved for celebrity that the faux royalty-status we already shower on pop icons is no longer enough? Have we transcended human adoration and shrunk to celebrating the achievements of animals?

Maybe I'm just bitter because a farm animal I've never heard of will probably get his own book deal posthumously. I'm sure that psychic guy John Edwards will be chatting up Barbaro from beyond the grave next show.

Seriously, if I as so much see one "Barbaro: Amercia's Horse" bumper sticker I'm throwing myself under the car.

Whatever. But I tell you it’s a slippery slope we’re on. Black ice slippery. Check out youtube. Enter “cats”. How many videos are there of cats doing stupid things? Answer~way too many. What’s next, “NBC is proud to present, The Iifetime Achievement Awards For Housepets”.

Where does it end?

More importanty, where did it begin? Rin Tin Tin? Lassie? Flipper? C'mon, you never saw Flipper trying to get a development deal. Flipper was more than happy to pull little Sandy from some awful riptide then celebrate with a backflip and some sushi.

Benji. That's where it all went bad. One *&^%*&(@! feature film and the next thing you know Benji's in an air-conditioned trailer asking for gourmet kibble.

I never liked Benji. His eyes were too close together. And now, because of Benji we're grieving the passing of a horse that couldn't even talk.

Great.

Thanks for setting our culture back oh, about a century's worth of common sense Benji.

Doggystyle.