I lobbied for a new espresso machine at work. Nothing outrageous--its a Bodum. Simple design, ruthlessly efficient. Makes a great cup--first time every time.
So for the first week we all stood around, whipping up espresso drinks, discussing the perfect crema color and the joys of perfectly steamed milk. It was a beautiful thing. One happy family.
But that changed. People started drinking more. A lot more. Our salesperson Tim, who shall remain anonymous went from having (seriously) a single cup of deli-brew a day to three double-espresso drinks. That's six shots of espresso. A day.
I'm going to put one of those electronic dog-collars on him so when he tries to fire up the machine he gets a jolt of electricity to the face and neck area.
And people are snippy. Everyone's short-tempered, intolerant. They stand and foot tap while the machine cranks out the java-juice, shaking thier heads dismissively 'cuz its taking too long. And no one even cares about how much crema a single shot should produce--because no one makes a single serving anymore. If you're not cooking a double, don't even approach the machine. Needless to say we now order espresso grind in bulk.
People look over their shoulder a lot. Like someone's going to unexpectedly surprise them. I don't even know if people use the cool ultra-contemporary double-walled clear glass espresso glasses I bought--I think they're just sucking it straight from the spigot.
Now, when you go to make an espresso, if someone else is there its like those monkeys in 2001: A Space Odyssey--you get this stare like you're moving in on their kill. I've seen employees keep one another at bay with the cute little sugar spoons, jabbing at each other, going for the eyes.
What have I done? Me, I don't even go near the machine any more. I go to Guy&Gallard, plunk down $4.00 and pray when I get back to work people haven't gone Lord Of The Flies on each other. But you have to admit, Guy&Gallard does make a good brew. And they don't poke you with the sugar spoon while they steam your milk.
1 comment:
Dear Sarah, my thanks for your suggestions and your concern. I've managed a version of your approach and appropriated the machine altogether.
It now sits proudly on my desk, coming to life for any hearty individual brazen enough to kindly request a cup of their favorite brew. $7.50 a serving. Dollop(s)extra.
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